“If you don’t want to have one then I’m going to adopt because I want a kid”

Three weeks after getting engaged, I posted an article on Facebook (soooo glad I deactivated that) about reasons to not have a kid. I’ve never wanted kids, ever. I like my little cousins and my friend’s kids, but I can give them back to their rightful owner. SH actually told me that he would adopt a kid on his own if we were still married.

E: So there would be a kid in the house that I would have nothing to do with?SH: Yep
E: Do you know how hard it is to adopt? What are they going to say when you’re married and they talk to me and I say I don’t want a kid?
SH:………

If you’re not on the same page about having kids, REASSESS. I really believe he thought that we would be like Andy and April from Parks and Rec and I would change my mind and have a kid. Saying you would adopt a kid on your own when you’re married?! That was the most asinine idea I had ever heard! And he was dead serious! He brought it up a few times!! Like some agency is just going to let you adopt a kid and have it live with you being the ‘father’ and some other random broad in the house that the kid will have nothing to do with. It’s not like bringing home a dog or a cat when your partner doesn’t agree, this is a HUMAN CHILD! It still blows my effing mind just typing this out and thinking about it. What a piece of work.

I asked about school and the crazy common core stuff they’re doing now….he had no idea what I was talking about. One of his married friends had a few kids and supposedly ‘he always had time to play video games’. He didn’t like it when I mentioned that it must be the wife doing all the work. Those kids were BRATS too. We went out for supper at Fargo’s one night and one of the kids pitched a fit, was yelling and slid under the table onto the floor. I told SH later, if I would have acted like that, my mom would have had me up by the arm and into the bathroom. But he didn’t see anything wrong with the way the kid acted. I think he just wanted a kid (probably a boy) to instill his love of video games into. Should have been a GINORMOUS red flag when that same friend asked us about kids and I said no and SH was more of a maybe / closer to yes. “How’s that going to work?” he asked, and now we know that it doesn’t. I shouldn’t have married him when I knew I didn’t want kids and he changed his mind, buuuuut here we are and I now have 2 divorces under my belt.

They’re really not “the one” for you if they don’t / can’t accept that you don’t want a kid. Break up, stay friends, whatever. Don’t let someone try to change what you know you want in your heart. You can find someone who doesn’t want a kid — I did!