#metoo
I am, I am, I am
I said I wanna get next to you
I said I’m gonna get close to you
You wouldn’t want me have to hurt you too
Hurt you too
I am a man, a man
I’ll give you something that you won’t forget
I said you shouldn’t have worn that dress
I said you shouldn’t have worn that dress
Worn that dress
Sex Type Thing — Stone Temple Pilots
In 2009, I was raped. It’s something that not many people know about me. At the time, I honestly didn’t think much of it. I had gone out drinking with some friends and ended up getting pretty drunk, I wasn’t able to drive the 30 miles home. Somehow during the night, I was texting with a guy who was a friend of my cousin. We had started talking on Facebook after commenting on my cousin’s posts. Since I couldn’t drive home, a friend of mine was going to drop me off with him. After leaving the bar to meet up, I was so drunk I was throwing up out of her car while she stopped in the middle of the road. We made it and he took me to his place, which I think he shared with his sister. I remember having to be quiet when we got there. We watched TV and made out a little bit.
At some point, I passed out. I vaguely remember feeling something happen but I was too out of it from drinking to move. I woke up later to find that I was naked from the waist down. I asked what happened and he said “Oh, you don’t remember? You got really frisky”, then he was on top of me. I remember the smell of pizza from the place he worked mixed with sweat. I can still smell it if I think about it. I laid there and waited for it to be over. I didn’t think much about that either. After getting snuck out by him, he dropped me at my car and I went home.
I cut off all contact and didn’t dare mention anything to my cousin, he would have gone after him. I just kept it to myself and never really thought about it. To me, I was drunk and shouldn’t have put myself into that position. I didn’t really view it in a different way until the #metoo movement. Whenever someone tries to argue that if a woman goes out dressed ‘scantily’ then they’re asking for it is complete and utter BS. I was wearing jeans and a sweatshirt. I now know that this wasn’t 100% my fault. Yes, I shouldn’t have gone off with someone I didn’t know. Yes, I shouldn’t have gotten as drunk as I did. But what kind of creep will force himself on someone when they’re passed out and lie about it? Men can go out and get obliterated and not have to worry about someone taking advantage of them in that situation.
Now with Roe v Wade being overturned, many states have banned abortion even in the case of rape or incest. I don’t want children, but if I ended up pregnant and lived in one of those states in this ‘new world’, I would have no choice but to have the child. States are punishing women for things that are not their fault and they shouldn’t be regulating what women do with their bodies anyway! People are saying they’re ‘pro-life’ but then do nothing when the child ends up in the state system. Children are being gunned down at schools and little has been done about that also. It’s just unimaginable that people believe that overturning Roe v Wade was a good thing. It has become a scary time for women and their health.
