“You’re a sociopath, you don’t care about me.”
Looking back, it seems I had been gaslighted my entire relationship with FF. He would make up stories trying to catch me in something. He would claim that he spoke with someone I knew and if I denied it, I would constantly be asked, ‘are you sure?’, ‘I know you said this’. If I was looking up and to the left, that meant I was lying. My life consisted of never knowing what I was going to come home to, constantly walking on eggshells and doing whatever I could to keep the peace. He’d get off work before me, come home and start playing video games and drinking his vodka and juice. Then he eventually added balt salts to the mix. Remember the story of the Florida guy eating the guy’s face off on bath salts? Yeah, this was during THAT time. Since he was home before me, I would have to call from my work phone when I was closing the office to let him know that I was leaving work, and if there were any pit stops I would have to make so he could track how long it took me to get home.
Once, we were having a snow storm and he wanted me to run to this gas station on the other side of town to pick up more bath salts for him. It took me 30 minutes to get from my work to the interstate, which is normally about 10–15 minutes. I called him and told him I had JUST gotten to the interstate and it was really bad out. He didn’t care. I didn’t love him if I didn’t do it. So I trekked all over hell and half of Georgia to get him his damn bath salts. If your SO thinks you should put your life in danger for them, over something so small and trivial…reassess. It’s not worth putting yourself out and bowing down to their every need. The only time you should be out in a snowstorm is if you need something that’s an absolute necessity! Looking back, it just blows my mind that I would do something like that. But I did it because it meant keeping the peace. Anything to avoid getting into an argument that would zap all my energy. Now, it’s so different because I know my boyfriend would NEVER force me to do something I didn’t feel comfortable doing. He loves me and wants me to be safe, that’s how you should be treated in a relationship.
